the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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