she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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