Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i believe in u and ur pee
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
