her vagine was all disorganized.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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