I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
