i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Boobs are out for the taking
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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