like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
