Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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