Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
