I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
