You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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