he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
