I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I will be naked everywhere
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
