Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
