therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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