Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
