I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
