I must be too annoying 4 u.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
North Korea, Best Korea!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
