I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
