Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
