Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
