You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is the high leading the old right now
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
