U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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