At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
