Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
