Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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