$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I did not marry a roomba.
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