What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
