I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
