Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize