Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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