does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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