They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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