all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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