you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
