i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
