dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
