I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
