i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
