I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
