He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I understand Curling. That high.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
