We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
