theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have post one night stand depression
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
