So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
