have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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