I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
