theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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