She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
