The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
