If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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