I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
