don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
