Porn is love you can see.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
