your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
