i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
