i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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