I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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